Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Background Check

I had to do one of those security clearance background checks for a friend of mine today. It was the second one I've had to do. I'm pretty sure the people who do them all need training in people skills. Or maybe they're trained not to be personable. 
First of all he asked to come at 1pm today, which is just about the most hectic time of my day, so I said, "What about 2pm?" and he countered with 1:30pm--"Alright, but it may be kinda crazy at my house, just warning you."
So he ends up showing up at 12:50pm. Ok, did you not hear that I couldn't do 1pm? ARG #1!
So I'm trying to cook macaroni and cheese, keep 3 toddlers (2y/o, 2 1/2 y/o, and 3 y/o) sitting at the table (because they were already eating some stuff) and answer his questions. ARG #2!
Now, I know other mothers out there know how it is to try and answer questions while watching children. You definitely don't seem to be giving a well thought out answer, but trust me, we're good at multitasking. Yes, I can help a child fill up a glass of water in the fridge while answering where I met one of my friends. You don't have to ask me the same question again once the glass of water is filled. ARG #3
Anyway, so I did get one detail wrong because I was off on my calendar in my brain by one year, so I corrected it a few questions later. The whole rest of the interview, he kept coming back to that one question, "Now are you sure it was 2008?"--"Yes! I told you it was 2008!" Literally 6 or 7 times. Did you not hear me say that I was sure, and that it was my final answer!? ARG #4
That brings me to another point. Every single question, when answered got a reply like, "Ok...hmm...ok, so you're sure it was __________" It was like I was getting a pop quiz, and he knew all the answers already, and I was getting every. single. question. wrong. Ok mister, you try remembering your whole friendship with someone and then reciting it back to me while I look at you like you're stupid. ARG #5
Oh, and I had a splitting headache the whole time. ARG #6
So, if you're in need of a background check for a job you're applying for. Pretend you don't know me. Mmkay?

No comments: