We take a break from our regularly scheduled programming to bring you a word from our sponsor: my brain. I can't sleep. Partially because Dave is snoring, partially because my left nostril is clogged, partially because I took a nap today, mostly because my whole middle section feels like it's on fire, and partially because my mind is racing.
I've already done all I can to get rid of the fire (3 ibuprofen, 2 tylenol, 1 gas-x, heating pad), sitting up should get my nostril to clear up, Dave will stop snoring if I jab him enough times and tell him to roll over, and there's nothing I can do to retroactively tell myself not to take a nap today. So that leaves me with my mind racing.
What is my mind racing about? Pain. This brings me to my topic--it's one of my biggest pet peeves, but I don't think I've told many people about it. I usually just keep it to myself--grin and bear it. Here it is: I hate the phrase, "pain threshold". I think it's a bunch of baloney. It's the grown-up way of calling someone a sissy.
Just about this time of the month every month I get all mad about it all over again, if you catch my drift. The most I've heard it used is in reference to labor.
There is the big debate over natural birth vs. medicated birth. I have no strong opinion on which is the "right" way to do it for others, but I know that I will always choose to have an epidural. The only part that bugs me is when people talk about their labor and say some form of, "Oh, I didn't need any pain killers or epidural because my pain threshold is higher than yours."
Let me tell you about labor. It hurts. A LOT! It feels like cramps, food poisoning, bad gas, and being run over, all in one. Ok, I don't know what it feels like to be run over so I can't compare it to that. I'm sure it's close though.
Here's your fair warning: I'm going to start rambling because from here on out (you weren't already!?)--my thoughts are all jumbled together.
The only way I feel it is fair to compare "pain threshold" levels is if somehow the actual pain felt was able to be measured, which it really can't be. My pain is not the same as anyone else's pain. You can't tell me that you felt the same amount of pain and just dealt with it better. I do give so so so SO many props to all those women who give birth naturally. I am admitting openly that you are strong women with self control I can only hope to have. Some of you don't experience as much pain as others, which makes it easier to give birth without being numb from the waist down. It has to do with the way your nerves and brain are hooked up-not your pain threshold. Some of you experience more pain than others and still are able to give birth without being numb from the waist down. As for me, I experience more pain than I would ever like to deal with in my life without being numb from the waist down.
Bring in today's world: No I'm not planning on experiencing labor for a while. I can promise it's not in the next at least 10 month plan for me. However today I am experiencing what I like to call "mini-labor". It hurts like a @!%^@#&@$%*#$^*%^($&($%^@#$%!@#% and you can't tell me that you just have a higher pain threshold than me when it comes to cramps. I may slap you if you do. I'm not a sissy! It just hurts a LOT.* Do you think they make monthly epidurals for cramps?
Ok, I think I've written everything that was in my head. Hopefully I can sleep now.
*I actually have a uterus septum which causes menstrual cramps to be more painful. Just saying.