Because I should write them all down:
Last night I had two dreams. The first dream I dreamed I was in St. George or somewhere warm and desert-y, and I was with a family from home at their house in St. George that they were trying to sell. (No, they don't really have a house in St. George, but the are trying to sell their house.) Anyway, I suddenly gave birth (no pain! that's strange), and he was so cute and perfect and wonderful. Then they all left, and I was at their house all alone.
In the second dream I gave birth as well. This time I was in the hospital with doctors. The baby came out and he kind of looked like a gremlin or E.T. and he was missing his feet. My first thought was "whoa, why does he look like that?!" and immediately felt like a horrible person for thinking my baby was creepy looking. Then these teenage boys came in the room and started squirting him with squirt guns, and I chased them around like a mad mama bear, yelling things like, "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!"
I was a grump when I woke up.